He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
