Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
