I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
