Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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