Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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