I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
