As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
