I just saw a hot homeless man
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
