I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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