if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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