I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
