And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
