My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
