i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
