3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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