so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
