I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
