wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
