I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
