New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
