Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
