there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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