either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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