i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
