why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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