Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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