Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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