at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
