I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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