Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize