I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
