You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize