What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
