i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
