proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You pole danced in your parka.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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