he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
