Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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