At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
