apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
