college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize