Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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