you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
