i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
