unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
