saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
