Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
