is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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