apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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