11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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