i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
