do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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