but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
