Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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