Kiss
Puke
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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