I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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