it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
