GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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