Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
