It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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