yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
