Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
