So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
